Nursing Vs. Counseling

Sep. 19th, 2017 11:33 pm
iosonochesono: Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony being sad. (MLP: Dash Sad)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
I think instead I'd rather do nursing and social work, with some counseling training.

I've been reading up on it and apparently a lot of rehabilitation therapies are not seen as particularly scientifically sound.

I'm wondering why, for instance, the facilities in these areas (no specific one) don't focus on anti-opiods such as naltrene over the Twelve-Step program, which have scientifically sound evidence that they are effective against addiction. Apparently the USA is far far behind other developed countries in their approach to addiction.




In learning about all of this, I'm going to try taking Contrave this year and see if it helps me stop binge-eating. Treat my problem like an illness and try to approach it as such.

Lol

Sep. 19th, 2017 07:04 pm
iosonochesono: (Default)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
Isha said Makayla had walked the into Monique snoring because she was so loud.

Okay, THAT doesn't sound like Monique. That might have been me. I know people have told me I snore pretty loudly. (I don't get HOW, since I don't have tonsils or adenoids. Also, I record myself sleeping sometimes - to try to catch me snoring and how bad, since people have woken me up less than an hour after me falling asleep to tell me I was being loud - and it never seems to catch snoring. It's like my brain doesn't do those bad habits when I'm watching myself.)

There's no way that happened recently though cuz we don't go in that room anymore. And well, I don't think I've slept during a shift in weeks. I kept getting more and more anxious about Monique's pattern. It's possible I dozed off once or twice during the time we were in that room.

However: Regardless, I'm now trying to research what legitimate ways there are to stop snoring.
havocthecat: methos from highlander (hl methos)
[personal profile] havocthecat
In case anyone doesn't already know:

[community profile] hlh_shortcuts.

(I mean, I didn't. There might be someone else who doesn't?)

UGH

Sep. 19th, 2017 04:56 am
iosonochesono: (Default)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
Due to circumstances at work tonight I was convinced to go in and now my co-worker is sleeping again.

I resent letting my guilt and concern manipulate me that way.
iosonochesono: (HTTYD: Troubled)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
Ana annoys me with how much she believes in conspiracy theories and how right-wing she is, but sometimes she manages to ask things that are eerily on-point with where my emotions are at.

... Granted, because she believes PCOS is a conspiracy to punish women by making them infertile and because she knows I'm in my thirties. But eerily on point with where a lot of my thoughts have been since that woman was telling me how much her life changed after she got pregnant and just generally feeling incredibly stuck and without choices in life.

Conversations I feel like I can't have with anyone. Like, if I have those conversations with anyone, they'll totally freak out. Either because my friends who are women will think I'm thinking seriously about trying, or the men in my life will be worried I'm going to ask them to be a sperm donor.*

Ana doesn't even know about the sexual dysfunction, I don't think. So the question from her is a lot more eery. Like if Alicia had asked, it's like, she knows I have this barrier in my life that sort of makes my life complicated in the family planning/starting aspect.

*I guess I'd be worried about that too. I guess it's not such a far-flung theory that if I ever went that route I'd want it to be someone I knew. But I usually find it's easier to talk to men about S.D. stuff.

OH MY GOD

Sep. 18th, 2017 11:40 pm
iosonochesono: (Default)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
Monique literally lost her shit when she found out I wasn't coming in tonight. I'd gotten permission from Isha around 6pm.

The real reason is that she's pissed off she won't get to sit there turning off her alarm and going back to sleep all night without getting up until 6:40am.

This was it. I decided even if it means sleeping privileges are revoked, I'm going to talk to Isha about how Monique oversleeps during the shift. I can't stand that she has the gall to do 1-2 checks the entire night last night and kept turning off her alarm and now she wants to whine that I'm not coming in again so she can do the same bullshit tonight.

I even pretended to fall asleep last night to see if she would do the checks? And she didn't. I literally saw her still turning off her alarm and going back to sleep. I still had to get up and do the checks because she wouldn't.

That's the only reason why I would want to cut my hours. It's not like I thought it'd be super awesome to make less money. It's because it's causing to much sleep deprivation and resentment of my co-worker.

Work:

Sep. 18th, 2017 06:26 pm
iosonochesono: (Default)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
I asked for tonight off, too.

I've decided when we don't need two staff I'll take 1-3 days off per week to ensure that when I am there, I am able to remain awake.

Like I don't want to rat out Monique because it would cause interpersonal conflict at work (and potentially make them more strictly enforce it being an 'AWAKE' shift whereas they have to date been currently lenient and let us work it among ourselves.) It's a lot easier to offer to divide shifts (like do three days/two days and then switch the next week) or come in less personally.

But it's not fair to basically see someone sleeping next to you all night and know that if you fall asleep that person isn't going to have the checks covered. If I need to be asleep, I won't come in, because I can't trust her to stay awake. I don't want to be liable for dozing off on someone who needs 10-30 minute checks.

Verge

Sep. 18th, 2017 08:19 am
iosonochesono: (Default)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
I am on the verge of having a frank discussion with Monique about how much she sleeps at work.

Tonight she kept turning her alarm off and continuing to sleep all night. She basically got seven hours of sleep. This has not been an unusual turn of events.

We both work 80+ hours/week, we both have dysfunctional home situations, it's not fair for one person to get all the sleep.

Of course, the other thing I've considered is simply taking more time off the night job whenever there are three clients or less. That way, if something happens, at least I'm not liable, whereas if she tells me she's doing checks and then she is simply sleeping the whole night, I am equally liable.
havocthecat: a magical tree (feelings tree magic)
[personal profile] havocthecat
We were reviewing the kidlet's U.S. history project on Colonial Virginia, which involved Jamestown, and I took it kind of farther than his teacher did. (I do that a lot. History is broadly expansive.) Also I got to explain that Captain John Smith was an asshole, and I got to whine later to Mr. Havoc that I really don't like Pocahontas (the Disney film), not because I don't like Pocahontas (she was awesome), but because John Smith was an asshole, not a romantic lead.

You have no idea how much my dad told me about John Smith and Jamestown when I was a kid. You really have no idea.

So I also learned that the kidlet didn't know why the Church of England formed, and this all culminated in my explaining to him that Henry VIII wanted to get remarried, the Pope told him no, and the Henry said, essentially, "Screw you, I'm the King of England! I'll start my own church!"

It was a glorious moment. I love being a parent.

Progress

Sep. 18th, 2017 03:02 am
iosonochesono: (Hebrew: Elephants Don't Dance Ballet)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
My UCSD courses don't start until next week, so right now I'm just working on the TEFL course. I couldn't do it when my co-worker was watching iZombie, but she's currently asleep.

I also filled out a new C1 for my U.K. Passport. I just need to finish putting in my mother's address and her passport information, then ask her to get information that may be relevant for them (her marriage certificate to my father changing her surname, then the divorce paperwork, then the marriage certificate where she took her current husband's surname. It might be none of that is relevant because she probably has to put that information in when renewing her passport... But still.

I deleted POF/Tinder. I've come to the conclusion that men are depressing. Hundreds and hundreds of men 'like' me, in the hopes that they'll hook up, just as they are 'liking' every damn woman on those sites. I'm just going to try to get back to doing classes, going to the gym, etc. I'm not necessarily holding out for a serious relationship only - but I don't believe I'm likely to respect guys when I see evidence of the grazing approach. Like they couldn't care less about compatibility. Forever alone? Whatever. It's better than being depressed by a constant barrage of dudes hoping for a one-night stand.

Thoughts

Sep. 18th, 2017 12:14 am
iosonochesono: (Corpse Bride: Emily Proper)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
With regard to Jordan (as much as I'm trying to just completely mind-wipe myself about his existence), I think what happened with regard to him lying about "not meeting the language qualifications for CSU Fullerton/CSU LB" is that I don't think he applied to them. I think he probably tried to apply to a few UCs - the ones that were prestigious enough to fill the needs of his ego.

But the University of California requires two years of a foreign language. Hence he didn't get in. And then was embarrassed that he didn't apply. Or maybe he had lied to his parents and had told him he didn't get into any of those schools, and then kept that lie for everyone, not realizing what a bad lie that was, because the CSUs are far more numerous and everyone knows the key difference in transferring to a UC or a CSU is whether or not it requires a foreign language.

Anyway, he got into York in England, and that school is highly regarded, so it's not like his GPA wasn't high enough, it would be, as he said, just the language requirements.

(I've also considered that he may have intentionally did what he did to give himself an excuse to go back to Europe to complete his education, as European schools are considered more prestigious. And for all I know, he had a reason to want to go back to England. Be it homesickness, friends, a girl, whatever. But his ego seems enough on its own.)




I want to work on my TEFL course but I can't do it without headphones.

I was also looking at applying to UK Starbucks and working on BACP coursework.

It might make more sense to make an extended visit to my aunt and her husband's place, though, and figure my working situation out. I'd like to try to work in Italy, France, Spain, Germany, and Portugal. But I was thinking I'd like to stop by the UK a while first since technically I'm a citizen. Plus I could then work on counseling and BACP stuff while there. (I'd like to do coursework in those countries too? But only to learn the language.)

It'll probably be a lot easier to find work if already at least on the right continent.
newredshoes: it's good to feel things you want (<3 | lust lust lust)
[personal profile] newredshoes
A rough decision: This afternoon, I saw an apartment in my dream location. It's literally exactly where I would want an apartment to be, right down to equidistance to my favorite things in the neighborhood. It's within my budget, it's pretty light-filled, it's in the back of the building (a brownstone!), so it should be quiet. I feel like I should be ecstatic.

But the more apartments I see (so many of them utter, utter stinkers!), the more I realize 1) how important having a non-miniscule kitchen is to me, and 2) how little I want to live in the exact same apartment I've lived in since college. This is a steep fourth-floor walkup with no particular amenities, a sloping (and unpretty) floor, bad caulking and a bizarre kitchen (there's a ledge acting as an island that divides it from the living-room area). Plus, no pets. I just have Betta Barnes right now, but I'm really sad any time I think of not having the opportunity to get a dog without moving.

I pretty much have a week to find a place I really like if (and this is still an "if") I plan on going to North Carolina to dogsit Gus while Dad and J are in Thailand. I have to give my management company 30 days' notice that I'm leaving, and honestly, my broker explained today that the most danger I'm in (if that ) is losing my security deposit (which obviously I don't want to lose, but it's also kind of ceased being real money in my head, since it's been out of my hands for three years???).

So, this is my big stress right now. Presumably any place I could sign on for would ask for an Oct. 1 move-in date, which will mean 1) paying rent on two places at once, but 2) the opportunity for a staggered, gradual move. I'm trying to focus on this for the moment, because more immediately, some condensation from a glass of iced tea dripped into my trackpad on Friday, and my laptop has been almost unusably haunted since. (Please let it go away, I don't want to have to buy a new computer too, especially since I don't like any of the new Macs and I'm locked into the dumb system.)

Okay, going to hit post. Hi, friends. I would love to be someplace new already!!!!

Fifteen Characters Meme

Sep. 17th, 2017 08:14 pm
el_staplador: Can-can dancer; caption 'Oppan can can style' (can can style)
[personal profile] el_staplador
Nicked from [personal profile] lost_spook:

1) Make a list of fifteen characters first, and keep it to yourself for the moment.

2) Ask your f-list to post questions in the comments. For example: "One, nine, and fifteen are chosen by a prophecy to save the world from four. Do they succeed?", "Under what circumstances might five and fourteen fall in love?", "Which character on the list would you most want on your side in a zombie invasion?"

3) After your f-list has stopped asking questions, round them up and answer them using the fifteen characters you selected beforehand, then post them.
el_staplador: TARDIS (tardis)
[personal profile] el_staplador
Someone created Vastra and Jenny's wedding photo, remixing my My Beloved Snake, and Said Unto Me. It is absolutely delightful: period-typical in the best way!

Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Flint-Vastra (The Carte de visite remix) (0 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Jenny Flint/Madame Vastra
Characters: Jenny Flint, Madame Vastra (Doctor Who)
Additional Tags: Fanart
Summary:

The wedding photo of the widow Vastra and her young new husband.



I have been watching Kids on the Slope on [personal profile] moetushie's recommendation, and am enjoying it very much thus far. I am a sucker for seaside + nostalgia + music. I have also been watching Izetta: the Last Witch, which ought to be right up my street (Ruritania + loyalty TO THE DEATH + femslashiness) but which for some reason isn't grabbing me in quite the same way.

On the subject of anime, I went to see the Anime Architecture: backgrounds of Japan exhibition (now finished, sorry) at the House of Illustration, and was mostly impressed the sheer detail of the artwork. I hadn't realised how small the backgrounds were in real life; they really repaid standing six inches away and marvelling.

Thoughts

Sep. 17th, 2017 01:06 am
iosonochesono: (Bolt: Sleepy)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
Thought #1: If I'm here until at least April, I should be able to get most of the CADC coursework done. And some of the nursing prerequisites.

Thought #2: I really like the one job, it's the other job I can't stand. I used to at least like the people there, but most of them are gone. I can't believe I have to do all this safety coach stuff I can never even do, either. Tomorrow and Monday I'm going to have to run around all over the place trying to collect paperwork. It's all freakin' hand-holding because managers don't see enforcing policy within departments as part of their jobs.

Honestly, they ducked it up. If the safety program had been a body of policies rewarding managers whose departments and staff pass audits and don't have injuries free days (and penalizing those who do) this wouldn't be a problem. Instead, they see a nag telling them to do stuff they have decided isn't part of their job. It's a freakin' joke.

Thought #3: I want to get the nursing prerequisites and CADC stuff done.

CCAPP claims it is valid in 47 countries but it doesn't list them anywhere. Kinda suspicious.

ETA: It's by getting the IC&RC tests done, but then you still have to live in California most of the year, which seems ridiculous. In the U.K. the equivalent program is BACP.

I Did It

Sep. 16th, 2017 11:39 am
iosonochesono: (MLP: Thoughtful)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
That thing, the thing I've wanted to do for years - sign up for a TEFL certificate. I did it.

I'm going to work on it during the night shift and work on paying down any debts I have - maybe even sell my car toward the end of December... Start figuring out the things I do/don't need in my life. Then I'm going to try to apply for TEFL positions. Maybe look into teacher licensing?

Why?

Because Dad came home today, and the place was a horrible mess. My brother was sleeping in a rat nest. In the living room. And my dad was upset and sad and I left because I was worried they'd get into a screeching argument into one another.

And I was thinking about how miserable I am at Ralphs. How Mike talks about 'moving up in the company' and like... I don't really want that. What I want is to travel and not be at home with my brother and my father burdened by my brother.

And I was sitting there, eating fast food (again) and thinking about how unhappy I was, and then I thought, "Will moving make me happy?"

And the answer is that I have stuff I need to work on. I have low sense of self-worth to work on. Codependency issues to work on. A sexual dysfunction to work on (because currently that also makes me unhappy.) Moving won't suddenly make me a happy person. I need physical intimacy and I have a hard time accepting it. I need to establish better boundaries with people so I don't feel taken advantage of. I need a lot of things in my life that I can work on to make me happy.

But at least half my problem is I feel trapped and stuck and I go home and everyone's miserable and everything's a mess. I can't do things I love (like photography, travel, language study) because I'm working like 80+ hours/week.

So I'm going to:

1. Keep going on with trying to get my U.K. and Irish Passports.
2. Get the damn TEFL certification.
3. Fucking leave the country.

Nursing might be a nice ideal that would make me more money, but I can do the teaching certificate much faster and if I want international credentials I should be trying to figure out how to go to nursing school in the U.K. I just want to make sure that if I leave the country I can work.

Regrettably, this also means staying with Ralphs until April so I can pay off any debts. I almost want to turn in my notice today. But I need to stay with both jobs to save money and get to a debt-free point in my life. I want 0 debt and preferably $3k minimum in my savings account.

I just have to stay disciplined about only having water/fruit/veggies/PB&J.

Some Saturday Stuff

Sep. 16th, 2017 01:23 pm
lunabee34: (heart by jjjean65)
[personal profile] lunabee34
1. We lost power for 7 hours on Monday; the temperature was great and we had awesome food lined up to eat. A tree fell down and didn't hurt any of us or the house. Other people in town just had power restored yesterday! Nothing like a little gratitude about the big stuff to get you through the car refusing to start and some necessary repairs. LOL Normally, I'd get all anxious and pissed off about that kind of thing. Not this week.

2. Tuesday, I picked up limbs for two hours solid and I have been paying for it ever since. Y'all know how physically active I am. I go to the gym every day. I'm biking like 13 miles at a time. I can run on the elliptical forever if the boredom doesn't kill me first. Picking up those limbs kicked my ass, and it surprised me. My hamstrings have been on fire ever since. I went to the gym on Wed and Thursday and they hurt so bad on Thursday night that I just didn't go on Friday. I might not go to today. It feels like such a little and stupid thing to be affecting me this way. I picked up limbs for an hour today, but I squatted to do it instead of bending at the waist like I did on Tuesday, and I think that's actually made my hamstrings feel somewhat better? IDK I'll let y'all know when I'm in agony again tonight and trying to sleep.

3. I got some new underwear! I had to go down another size, and the Bali underwear I've been buying doesn't come in a smaller size than 6/7 which is definitely WTF. But I got some Jockey ones and some Hanes ones at Target to try out.

4. Rising Strong by Brene Brown )

LOL

Sep. 15th, 2017 02:27 pm
iosonochesono: Rachel Maddow with glasses. (Political: Rachel Maddow Blue and Glasse)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
Jordan, "See you when I get back."
Me, "God, I hope not. That would mean I'm still here."

I am so not trying to maintain these ties, that's exactly what I don't want to do. No keeping ties with people who make me miserable by not following through on promises.

Like I kept it relatively not-awkward while he was still here, but if all goes well, I will never see/hear from him again, lol.